


Unofficial Deputy Stiles Stilinski

by vedaine



Series: Unofficial Stiles Stilinski [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Arrested Derek Hale, High School Student Derek, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Derek Hale, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski, Pining Derek Hale, Pining Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vedaine/pseuds/vedaine
Summary: In which Derek gets arrested by Sheriff Stilinski for public nudity, unofficial deputy Stiles handles the intake paperwork over the phone in an inappropriate manner, and the Sheriff plays wingman to two pining teenagers.





	Unofficial Deputy Stiles Stilinski

“Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department, Stiles Stilinski speaking.” The chipper voice ran through the phone.

“What are you doing?” Sheriff Stilinski asked, furrowing his brow. It was eleven p.m. on a school night, and his teenaged son was for some unknown reason answering the front desk phone at the station.

“Um, answering the phone?”

“Yes, but why?”

“Because you called it?”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. Chill out, daddio, just covering the desk for a bit. I stopped by to bring you dinner; you forgot the quinoa-kale wrap I made you, and there’s no way you’re grabbing a burger from the diner next door on my watch. And then Tara—I mean, Deputy Graeme—had to take a domestic disturbance call, and you’re already short staffed and there was no one else to take over, and I figured, hey. Stiles worked front desk over the summer, and totally knows how to do intake paperwork and fingerprints and answer phones. So I said I’d cover for her while she breaks up whatever fight is brewing over the Martins’ divorce. Besides, I already got my homework finished, and I can just sit here quietly playing solitaire until your shift ends. Win win, right?”

“I repeat, seriously?”

“What are you calling about? Ooh, do you have a job for me to do? I totally remember the login for the desk computer.”

“We changed it last week.”

“Well, then you’ll be glad to know I already know the new login information. Look how helpful I am. So, what can I do you for, Sheriff?”

The Sheriff rolled his eyes, but he did need a phone intake for the perp in the backseat of his cruiser. And he wanted the paperwork started before he got back to the station, which would be a thirty-minute drive from the Hale preserve. He cursed his luck—and his hyperactive, meddling son.

“Intake, form 402-B. I’m handing the phone to the perp now.”

“Yes sir! I mean, hi, who am I speaking with?”

“Um, hello?” The man in the backseat spoke hesitantly into the cellphone, holding it as best he could with his hands cuffed in front of him.

“Well, hello. You sound hot, got a nice and growly voice. What’s your name, big guy?” Stiles asked over the phone as he logged into the BHSD’s computer system and pulled up a new intake.

“Derek Hale.”

There was a slight hitch of breath from Stiles. “Huh. Not a bad name, but I’m going to stick with big guy. What’s your date of birth?”

“December 25th, 1991.”

“Ooh, a Christmas baby. And only a few months younger than me, which means you’re legal. You single, big guy?”

“Yes? I mean, what kind of question is that? Don’t you need to know place of residence, employment, things like that?”

“Nope,” Stiles said, popping the ‘p’ like bubblegum. “We’ve got you in the system already. Derek Hale, eighteen years old, lives out near the preserve, part-time employee at the animal shelter, senior at Beacon Hills High. Oh yeah, and I’m looking at a mugshot from last year. I was right, you are a total hottie. Pretty good scruff for a teenager. I tried growing a beard over the summer, but it definitely did not look as good as yours so I didn’t keep it. Besides, I’ve got the whole twink thing going for me, so keeping my face bare isn’t a bad thing. Plus, I shave everywhere else anyway, so it’s not like it takes too much extra time.”

“Um, what?”

“So what did a big, bad boy like you do? Looks like last time you were arrested was for alleged pot possession—no judgement here, dude, even if you were found not guilty. Y’know, wink wink.”

“I—what?”

“Wow, not much of a conversationalist, are you? What did you do this time that warrants you sitting in the backseat of the Sheriff’s cruiser, stuck on the phone with little-ol’-me on a school night when you should be in your pajamas getting ready for bed? Do you even wear pajamas? You look like the kind of guy who sleeps in the buff. Maybe I’ll try sticking around the station until you’re celled-up and see for myself.”

“What? I mean, I—indecent exposure.”

“Holy crap, seriously? Where at? Why wasn’t I invited?”

“The Hale preserve. I didn’t think anyone was around.” Through the rearview mirror, the Sheriff saw a sheepish blush bloom across Derek’s face.

“You were running around naked in the forest? That’s hot. You said you’re single, were you alone? Because I’d totally run around naked with you.”

“Um, yes?”

“Yes you were alone, or yes you’d be into running around naked with me? ‘Cause let me tell you, you would be making my day. Oh wait, crap, are you straight? It would figure, being how hot you are, that I’d totally have no shot with you. Well, I mean that and the fact that you’re eons out of my league. I’m nothing to scoff at, mind you. I’ve been told that gay guys find me attractive. I mean, if you’re gay.”

“I am,” Derek blurted out. “And I was alone.”

“Well well well, big guy. A gay, single hottie who doesn’t mind a little public nudity. Got to say, I don’t either. And I’d definitely be up for it later, once you’re not in handcuffs and everything. Or, you know, in handcuffs, if you’d be into that. You think I wouldn’t find it sexy, given that I’m surrounded by people in law enforcement so much, but still. So you going to tell me why you were naked, or do I have to guess? Because I can probably come up with some awesome scenarios. Maybe one involving witches, and the full moon, and sex pollen, and—”

“I was skinny dipping in the lake after a run and couldn’t find my clothes in the dark.”

“Seriously? That’s it? Boring. You still naked, big guy?”

“No? The Sheriff had some sweats in the car.”

“Bummer, I’d have loved to see that. At least next time it’ll be you and me skinny dipping in the lake together, rubbing our naked bodies against each other, you getting stubble burn all over my neck… and chest, and thighs, and—”

“I—”

“Annnnd done. Your intake paperwork is all wrapped up, big guy. I look forward to meeting you when you get here. Maybe I can take your fingerprints and hold your hands. I bet they’re huge, wonder how they’d feel on me, maybe even in me if you’re a good boy,” Stiles said. Derek let out a squeak, causing the Sheriff to look at him in the mirror. “Now why don’t you hand the phone back to the Sheriff? I’ll see you soon, hot stuff.”

“Yes, um, Deputy,” Derek said, awkwardly handing the phone up to the front seat. “Sheriff, was that actually getting my paperwork done or did you put me through to a sex hotline as a weird punishment for the streaking?”

“God damn it, son,” the Sheriff yelled into the cellphone. “What the hell did you say to the perp?”

“Nothing, daddio,” Stiles said.

“Then why did he say you sounded like a sex phone operator? Did you say anything inappropri—no, scratch that, I have no doubt that you did. You’ll be lucky if his mom—the Mayor, may I remind you—doesn’t sue us into oblivion.”

“I won’t sue you,” Derek piped up quietly from the backseat.

“Damn it. We’re going to have a nice, long talk about appropriate phone etiquette when I get back to the station,” the Sheriff said.

“But dad, that’s Derek. Derek freaking Hale. My Derek. The Derek that is mine. Stiles’s Derek. You know, in my grade, the captain of the basketball team, crazy smart English lit tutor, hottest man ever, the reason I realized I was bi, been pining after him for three freaking years? Need I go on?”

“No,” the Sheriff sighed. “I love you, but you are in so much trouble. Wait for me in my office.” He hung up the phone, glancing back at the teenager in the backseat. The next twenty minutes were going to be awkward.

“So, um—new deputy?” Derek asked tentatively, wanting to break up the silence.

“My son. I am so sorry about Stiles, he’s—”

“Stiles Stilinski?”

“Yeah, you know him?”

Derek couldn’t stop the blush rising on his cheeks. Oh yes, he knew Stiles Stilinski, or at least knew of him, from afar. Which is to say from the stands of every lacrosse game, eyes glued to the pale, mole-spotted boy sitting on the bench. Wide doe eyes, abnormally large mouth slightly agape, long knobby fingers wrapped around the lacrosse stick. Derek had spent far too long looking at those hands. Thinking about those hands.

“Yes sir, Mr. Stil—Sheriff Stilinski. But I don’t think he knows who I am, at least judging from the, uh, phone conversation we just had.”

A wicked gleam rose in the Sheriff’s eyes, having noticed the teenager’s embarassed blush and slight smile. “Oh, he definitely knows who you are, Hale. There’s a reason he goes to your team’s basketball games, and gives me a recap of the captain’s best plays, and I can tell you that it’s not because he likes the sport. Or even understands the rules.”

“Oh.” The teenager grinned softly to himself in the back seat. Maybe getting arrested wasn’t going to be the disaster he’d thought it was.

 

* * *

 

“What the hell were you thinking, Stiles?” The Sheriff shouted at the teenager sitting in his office. He’d finished booking Derek, who was going to be stuck in a cell overnight as Mayor Talia Hale was at a conference in Sacramento and Dr. Hale was on an overnight rotation in the ER.

“Honestly? I don’t know. It was—Derek Hale, dad. I panicked. I mean, he’s gorgeous, and smart, and funny but in an understated and sarcastic way, and he likes children and animals, and… ugh. Besides, it was probably my only chance to ever talk to him, let alone flirt. I mean, the guy doesn’t even know I exist, so I’ve resigned myself to pining from afar.”

“He knows who you are.”

“—What?”

“I said, Derek Hale knows who you are.”

“Does he—” Stiles sounded strangled “—know that was me on the phone?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god, I’m so dead. Like, literally dead. He’s the coolest guy in school, and has all these jock friends—I mean, have you ever seen how big that Boyd kid is? They’re going to kill me. They’re—”

“Not going to kill you, son. But I still might. Derek said he’s not planning on telling the Mayor or suing, but this could have been really bad for the department. You need to think about your actions, Stiles. Think about what you’re saying before you say it. I’m really disappointed in you.”

Stiles’s eyes watered. It would be easier to take his father being mad at him than being disappointed. “I understand,” he said softly. “I’m willing to take any punishment you think is appropriate. I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are, Stiles. That doesn’t make it right. I know it’s a school night and it’s edging past midnight, but I think you’re going to have to stay the night in the cells. I’ll fetch you in the morning so you’ll make it to class on time. They’re pretty empty, and you’ll be safe, but you need time to think about what you’ve done.”

“No, please, that’s—”

“Any punishment I think is appropriate, I believe you said.”

“Damn it.”

“And I’m grabbing a burger for dinner.”

“That’s pushing it,” Stiles began, but came up short when he saw the stern look on the Sheriff’s face. “Nevermind. Burger for dinner. Got my blessing. Just refrigerate the food I brought so you can eat it tomorrow.”

The Sheriff nodded, then hauled his son up by the collar of his shirt and ushered him down the hall towards the cells. They were mostly empty, except for the one the man unlocked and shoved Stiles into. It had a single occupant—Derek Hale. The two boys stared at each other in wide-eyed silence as the Sheriff locked the cell and headed out of the room.

“Um, hey, Derek,” Stiles said, aiming for nonchalant but missing by a mile.

Derek strode towards the paler boy, who flinched, awaiting a fist to the face that never came. Instead, a large and warm hand gripped his chin and forced his face up. As he stared into Derek’s kaleidoscope green eyes, Stiles let out a startled breath as the broader teen laid a chaste kiss on his lips. The scruff of Derek’s stubble was rough against his cheeks.

Pulling back slightly and rubbing a thumb softly over Stiles’s lower lip, Derek looked at the other boy’s whiskey-brown eyes in awe. “Is this okay?”

“Derek?”

“Stiles. I, um, didn’t realize you knew who I was.”

“Are you kidding? You’re like the top of the food chain at school. You’re so smart and stupidly nice and ridiculously hot and I go to all the basketball games just to watch y—oh god, pretend I didn’t say that. I didn’t think you knew who I was.”

Derek kept stroking Stiles’s lip. “I go to all the lacrosse games just to watch you.”

“I don’t even play. I’m just a bench warmer.”

“I know. And I still go to the games. I don’t even have a clue what the rules are. I just know that there’s a ridiculously cute guy who rides the bench, who gives the most hilarious speeches in class that are totally off-topic, and who’s a really good friend to his self-absorbed social group.”

“I don’t know the rules of basketball.”

“Even though you actually watch me play?” Derek cocked an eyebrow.

“You have to admit, those basketball shorts are distracting. I don’t know who picked out your uniforms this year, but the white mesh is definitely doing you some favors. They’re so clingy, doesn’t even look like you’re wearing a jockstrap under there.”

“I don’t. It’s hard for me to find any that fit.”

“Oh god,” Stiles breathed out, both from the statement and from feeling the cold brick wall against his back. He hadn’t even realized Derek had been edging them back towards the cell wall.

“You still didn’t say if this was okay,” Derek said, rubbing harder on Stiles’s reddening lower lip.

The paler boy parted his mouth to lick his lips, inadvertently running his tongue against Derek’s thumb. “Very okay,” he said, reaching his hands to rest on Derek’s hips. He pulled the larger teen towards him, so their pelvises were flush against each other.

Derek was startled to find that their hips lined up perfectly; although Stiles was much leaner than he was, the boy was of a similar height. Which meant he could feel through his jeans that this was affecting the other teen in the same way it was affecting him.

“Good,” Derek said. He moved his hands to either side of Stiles’s face and captured his lips in a deep kiss. Stiles parted his mouth open, allowing the teen’s tongue access.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Stiles murmured against Derek’s lips.

“Me too.”

“And this too,” Stiles said, tightening his grip on Derek’s hips and moving him closer, grinding their clothed groins together.

“You know we have school in seven hours,” Derek said, moving his head to run scruffy kisses up the other boy’s neck. “Should probably get some sleep.”

“Don’t care,” Stiles said, arching his neck to give Derek more room and rolling his hips.

“And there are cameras in here.” Derek sucked a violent red bruise into the side of his neck.

“Don’t care.”

“That your father can see,” Derek said, smirking into Stiles’s shoulder.

“Still don’t ca—oh crap,” the other boy said, shoving a chuckling Derek away. “Uncool, bringing my dad up.”

“Nah, he’s pretty cool, actually,” Derek said, sitting on one of the metal cots. “After all, he’s the one who told me you liked me. And he put you in here with me.”

“God, my dad’s my wingman. That’s pathetic.”

“No, it’s not. It’s sweet. Plus, now I don’t have to ask for permission to date his son. Pretty sure this counts as his blessing.”

“Wait—date? As in going out together, in public, where people can see us? Holding hands and kissing and doing the do?”

“I mean, I thought—“ Derek hunched back, face dropping.

“No no no no no, I’m not saying no.” Stiles rushed over to sit next to Derek. “I’m just—it’s me. Stiles. No one ever wants to date Stiles. Best Stiles usually gets is bathroom BJ offers at Jungle. Not that I’ve ever done that, though. Or really anything, with anyone. So I don’t really know what I’d be doing, other than what I’ve seen in porn and tried doing solo.”

“Shut up, Stiles,” Derek said, kissing him. “I don’t have any idea what I’m doing either. Never had a boyfriend before.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” Stiles squealed.

“What did you think we were talking about?”

“I don’t know. Dating. But boyfriend, that’s like an actual label.”

“We don’t have to—“

“I love it,” Stiles said earnestly. “Derek Hale is my boyfriend. Oh my god.”

Derek smirked, happily. “Stiles Stilinski is my boyfriend, so I think I’ve got the better deal.”

“Oh shut up, big guy. But for real, I’ve got a math quiz tomorrow and I get twitchy—more twitchy than usual, that is—when I don’t get enough sleep.”

“That’s fine,” Derek said, yawning. “I could go for some sleep too.”

The boys both laid down, still on the same cot, even though there were several others vacant in the cell. And if they ended up cuddling in their sleep, no one needed to know. (Except Sheriff Stilinski, who saw it on the cameras, then in real life when he snuck into the room and took a photo on his phone.)

 

* * *

 

The next morning, both boys were let out of the cell in time for school. Sheriff Stilinski had made a deal with the Mayor over the phone, and Derek was let go with a stern warning. The Sheriff had picked up clean clothes for Stiles to change into, and had some loaner shoes for Derek to wear until he could change into the spare clothes he kept in his gym locker. Luckily, most of Derek’s books were still at school.

Stiles drove the pair of them to school in his Jeep, knowing that Derek would be able to hitch a ride home with his sister Cora.

“So,” Stiles said as they pulled into the parking lot. “How do you want to play this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’re driving to school together. People are going to notice. If you want to pretend you don’t know me or something, it would suck, but I’d totally understand. I just don’t want you to take a social hit because you’re hanging out with me.”

Stiles parked the Jeep close to the main door, where a lot of other students were milling around. Already, the odd pairing had caused some of the students turn to stare through the car’s windshield.

“Shut up, Stiles,” Derek said affectionately, running his hand along the boy’s chin as he drew him into a slow kiss. “You’re my boyfriend,” he murmured against the other boy’s lips, “and I’m not ashamed to be seen with you, if that’s what you’re thinking. You’re so cute, and sweet, and funny, and ridiculously sexy, especially on the phone. And I want you to call me, tonight, when we’re both in bed, alone, maybe undressed. And I want to hear what else that voice can do to me.”

“Oh god, Derek,” Stiles said, pressing his forehead against the other teen’s as he adjusted his pants. “Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be taking a math test… well, hard?”

Derek snickered, biting the paler boy’s lower lip. “My cellphone is still at home, but let me put my number in yours. Text me, we’ll go on a proper date this weekend.”

“Hell yes,” Stiles said eagerly, grabbing his phone from his pocket and thrusting it into Derek’s hands. When Derek handed the phone back, Stiles immediately sent a text so the other teen would also have his number.

They hopped out of the car and headed towards the entrance. Among the stares and whispers, Derek subtly wove his fingers into Stiles’s. Both boys blushed, inappropriately glad that Derek had gotten himself arrested and that Stiles had no concept of phone etiquette.

If the Sheriff later texted Stiles the picture he’d taken of the two boys sleeping together, and if Stiles made it his phone background, well. No one needed to know.


End file.
